The Scientist's Method
by openPandora'sBox
Summary: After his confrontation with Ronon, Rodney decides to find out what Jennifer's intentions are once and for all. Only, he goes about it as only Dr. Rodney McKay can. Spoilers for Season 5.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own no part of SGA. If I did..well..I wouldn't be writing this now would I?**

A/N: A little something (3 chapters) inspired by the prompt, "The scientific method" for Unwavering: A McKay/Keller Community's prompt!battle.

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The Scientist's Method - Chapter One

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"I'm not entirely sure about this, Rodney."

"What's there to be sure about? It's not like she'll suspect anything. You do this sort of thing all the time."

"Thanks, Rodney."

"No problem. Now, you just have to…you know…do it."

"I'm not exactly eager to do it myself."

"I figured. So I came prepared."

* * *

"Col. Sheppard? What happened to you this time?"

Lt. Col. John Sheppard slowly removed the ice pack from against his forehead, wincing slightly as the change in pressure set his thread throbbing once more. Cool air blew against the open wound and he clenched his teeth to steel himself against the sharp sting.

"Sparring accident," he lied, quite literally, through his teeth. Rodney owed him big time.

Dr. Jennifer Keller probed the wound lightly, assessing the damage quickly; stitches would be unnecessary, but judging by the extent of the bruise rapidly blossoming across the colonel's forehead, a CT scan wasn't out of the question.

"With what?" Jennifer quirked an eyebrow at John as she efficiently began cleaning the small laceration. "Baseball bats?"

"Probably would have been safer," John muttered under his breath, wincing again as Jennifer applied butterfly bandages to close the wound.

She frowned, unsure if she'd heard him correctly, but decided to let the matter drop to focus on the more important issue of determining if Atlantis's head of military was suffering from a quite possibly testosterone-induced concussion.

Jennifer shone her penlight into Sheppard's eyes. Satisfied his pupils were responding normally and he could track the movement of her finger in front of his face, she waited for the colonel to change out of his clothing and into a pair of scrubs before leading him to the scanner.

"Is this really necessary, Doc?" John protested as she directed him onto the scanner bed. "It's just a bump and a scratch. I feel fine."

Frowning slightly at the control screen near the head of the scanner, she ceased typing for a moment and replied, "That's some bump, Colonel. Either Ronon's been working on some new moves or you let your guard down completely."

Wincing inwardly, his ego sufficiently bruised to match the eggplant shade of his forehead, John wondered yet again why he'd even agreed to get involved in this crazy scheme. But now that Jennifer had provided him with the perfect opening, he figured he had to follow through on the promise.

"Ronon?" Squirming slightly and very uncomfortable, John tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, "What makes you think I was sparring with Ronon? I could have been sparring with anyone."

"That's true," Jennifer replied absently. She finished keying in the figurations for the scanner and turned towards the bed and the prone colonel. "Now lie still for a few minutes, Colonel. This won't take too long, but I need you to move as little as possible."

Committed to seeing this damnable thing through to the end and wanting to get it over with, John refused to drop the line of inquiry. "Right, but why Ronon?"

"Talking is moving, Colonel."

Easily deterred, John Sheppard was not.

"Any one of the strapping young marines we've got roaming the base could have done this." He lifted a hand to point helpfully at the rather large contusion blossoming across his forehead and realized his mistake as soon as he heard the exasperated sigh.

"Oops." John quickly dropped his hand back down to his side and smiled what he hoped was a sweet, apologetic smile in response to the brow-furrowing frown Jennifer was sending his way.

Jennifer shook her head at his antics. In truth, they were no different from what he usually pulled when forced to submit to her battery of tests after a mission. Except, he normally wasn't this talkative. At least not with her.

"You're always sparring with Ronon, Colonel."

"That…" John was at a loss. "Is true."

Jennifer took advantage of his sudden moment of stillness and quiet to finish running the scan.

Five minutes later, scan complete and conclusive in its findings that John Sheppard was almost wholly unharmed, she helped the colonel resume an upright position on the scanner bed and was surprised when he refused to let go of her arm.

Concerned that he wasn't really as fine as both she and the scanner had determined, Jennifer stepped before him and lifted his head up with one hand. His eyes were forced to leave the spot they'd been dutifully studying on the floor to meet her intense scrutiny. He nearly laughed when he recognized that she probably thought there was still something wrong with his head. He did laugh when his head told him that, yes, there was definitely something wrong.

"Colonel?" Was spontaneous laughter a symptom of some neurological condition brought on by a blow to the head?

Quickly sobering as he realized he was worrying the doctor for no reason, John quirked the corner of his mouth up and squeezed her arm lightly in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

"I'm fine, I promise. I just…" He was at a loss as to how to go about this. Subtlety in this arena was obviously not his strong suit. A lesser man would just give up. A lesser man would forfeit the cause and admit defeat. Lt. Col. John Sheppard was a better man than that.

"There was a point, you know?" He gazed hopefully into confused eyes; hoping she'd somehow understand what he wasn't saying.

"Noooo." Was there something she was missing here?

"To this." John waved his free hand around the general area of his head.

"Atlantis?" Thoroughly lost and confused, Jennifer felt she should be the one asking for a map to this conversation.

"What?" Now confused himself, John shook his head and blew out a heavy breath. "No. Just…how about we forget about this, okay?" Maybe Lt. Col. John Sheppard needed to reassess what kind of man he was.

Jennifer watched warily as John pushed himself off the bed, releasing her arm with a chagrined smile, and was ready to catch him in case this undeniably bizarre behaviour was, in fact, a consequence of his physical injury.

He slowly made his way back to the curtained area where he'd left his clothing lying haphazardly across an infirmary bed, mentally chastising himself for agreeing to such a ridiculous charade.

But it wasn't a charade – not really. At least not to the person who'd asked him to do it.

With a heavy sigh, he cast his eyes upwards, and turned back around. She was still standing where he'd left her; watching him with an expression that said she wouldn't be surprised to find out an alien entity had inhabited his body. Maybe she wasn't far off from the truth. John had yet to figure out exactly how he'd been talked into do this.

"I just have one question. Not because I really want to ask it. Believe me, I'd rather do anything else at the moment than be here asking this question. Perhaps even, geting bludgeoned upside the head again with a blunt object…again."

"Colonel?"

"Right, the question; or rather a scenario because it's not really a straightforward question. That would be too…straightforward." John finished lamely.

He cleared his throat, his eyes roaming the walls as he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

He watched Jennifer's eye flit downwards for a split second before returning to his face and the strangest thing happened; her brow lost its furrows and worried creases, her mouth went from hard and grim to soft and smiling, and her eyes lost that concerned cast and just glowed for about five seconds before she cleared her own throat and bent her head down, bangs falling forward to shield her from John's stare.

She toyed with the hem of her shirt – a nervous habit – before gathering herself and crossing her arms over her chest. She quirked an eyebrow at the colonel and said, "You've been spending too much time with Rodney."

Confused at the abrupt change in her demeanour, John could only stare, puzzled, and offered a disbelieving, "What?"

Jennifer gestured vaguely towards him with a hand before pulling it back to her chest and replying, "He does that a lot when he's uncomfortable or when he doesn't know what to say or how to say what he wants to say."

At his continued puzzled expression, she blew out a breath and roughly pushed her bangs off her forehead and out of her eyes.

"The flustered speech. The fidgeting. Classic Rodney. I was just remarking that you seem to have picked up a few of his more…endearing…habits." Suddenly embarrassed that she'd revealed as much to the Base Military Commander of Atlantis, Jennifer diverted her eyes from a face growing, much to her dismay, increasingly smug, and gently nudged him within the confines of the privacy curtain.

Leaving him to get dressed in privacy and in peace, she walked towards the scanner, eager to resume work and take her mind off of her serious lapse in judgment.

_Col. Sheppard_, she mouthed to herself. Groaning softly, she somehow managed to resist the urge to bang her head against the scanner's control panel. _Of all people to say something like that to, you had to pick Col. Sheppard._ Maybe there was a pill for whatever was wrong with her.

A rustle of fabric alerted her to John's now fully clothed presence. Deciding that two lapses in judgment did not make a right, she turned around with some final instructions to take it easy for a couple of days and to come back should he feel light-headed or nauseous.

She said the words; he nodded in response like a good patient. She dutifully refused to meet his gaze; his smirk just grew larger and more infuriating as a result.

"Col. Sheppard?" She called out to him. "What was the question?"

One hand on the doorway, his head turned to look at her, a knowing smile spread across John's face, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Don't worry about it. I got my answer anyway."

He sauntered out the doorway, leaving a thoroughly confused and bemused one Chief Medical Officer standing in the middle of her infirmary, staring after him unsure of whether to follow and demand an explanation or to just chalk it up to the blow to his head.

In the end, the demands of her job won out over the demands of her curiousity as Jennifer was called back to assess the health of a team just returned from off world. Perhaps later, when she actually had some time to herself, she'd investigate the odd behaviour of the colonel. Until then, she had responsibilities to attend to.

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Read and review and let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

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The Scientist's Method - Chapter 2

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"So, what did you learn?"

"Well, she definitely has you down, buddy."

"Can I please get that translated into something I'll understand?"

"She's noticed…things. Like what you do when you're nervous. What you say, or don't say. Things like that."

"Do I want her noticing that?"

"Why wouldn't you? It means she's paying attention, right? And attention is ultimately a good thing, Rodney."

"But what if she notices because it's annoying and blatantly obvious and she can't help but notice and be…annoyed?"

"Well…"

"So in that case the attention is not really a good thing. It's more like a bad thing, a really, really bad thing because the only reason I have that attention is because she'd want me to stop doing that thing that is causing the attention-getting in the first place."

"Rodney."

"What?"

"You're doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Exactly what she said you do when you're nervous."

"I am?"

"Yep."

"Oh. Then…that's a good thing, right?"

"Nope. It really is very annoying."

"Shut up."

* * *

"It's not that I'm afraid, per say. I mean it is me after all – Dr. Rodney McKay. That would be stu…silly. That would be silly, right?"

A vague head bob was the only response Rodney got from his companion.

"I'll take that as a yes. And I would agree. I've come face to face with some of the worst things you could imagine. Things I won't even mention because they would give you nightmares."

A rustle and a soft noise convinced Rodney that his companion took exception to the gentle handling.

"Don't get me wrong. I'd tell you, but I've stared evil right in its beady little eyes, laughed in its face and until you've done that, you won't even begin to understand some of the horrors I'm talking about here. I mean, I've still got nightmares and that's…you know…saying something."

"Rodney?"

Rodney's head jolted upwards and he spun around, hands clasped firmly against his stomach.

"Teyla. Hi." She didn't look mad, just surprised. Which, taking into account that she'd just found him conversing with her eight month old son, really should come as no shock to anyone. "Kanaan said you'd be back soon. He had some errands to run, so he asked me to wait here with Torren."

At her raised eyebrow and subsequent movement towards the playpen, Rodney felt the need to qualify his statement, "Don't worry. I didn't pick him up or even touch him. He seemed happy enough to chew on those toys as it was. Which, come to think of, should he be doing that? It can't really be all that sanitary."

Teyla moved to lift her son out of his playpen, smiling widely as he waved his newest favourite toy in her face, offering it to her to taste. She brought him in close, settling a soft kiss against the side of his head before turning to face Rodney.

"And was your conversation with my son enlightening, Rodney?"

"Illuminating," Rodney replied wryly.

Teyla studied the scientist, discreetly. Never one to remain still for very long, he was, nonetheless, oddly agitated; his hands were in constant motion, his eyes were unable to find purchase anywhere in the room, and Teyla had the distinct suspicion that, were she to glance down, she'd find Rodney shifting from foot to foot.

"Is everything alright, Rodney?"

"Yes." His eyes flickered away from her face. "Why wouldn't it be?"

With one last kiss and nuzzle, Teyla set Torren back down. She settled a few toys around him to keep him busy then proceeded to lead Rodney a few steps away and offered him a seat.

"You are obviously here for a reason, Rodney, and I do not think your intention was to play with my son."

Rodney smiled ruefully and looked down at his hands, hoping to escape Teyla's knowing gaze. Knowing it was impossible, he decided to finally do what he had come here to do in the first place.

"Did you…when you knew that you had…" Rodney shifted awkwardly on the couch, adamantly refusing to actually look at Teyla as he attempted to get the words through lips that felt oddly numb, "…feelings. When you realized you had feelings for Kanaan, did you…act differently?"

Teyla forced her expression to remain neutral. Although she burned with curiousity, expressing more emotion than Rodney was prepared to accept would surely scare him away. "Differently? I am not sure I know what you mean?"

He should've known it wouldn't be so simple. It appeared as if some elaboration would be necessary.

Rodney forced himself to breathe before continuing, "You know…" He lifted his eyes to Teyla's face and was met with a questioning stare. Obviously, she didn't. "Did you talk about him? Did you notice…things?"

Beginning to understand where Rodney was taking this line of inquiry, and developing a sense as to why, Teyla decided to put the fumbling scientist at ease.

Placing a comforting hand on his knee to stop its incessant motion, she smiled easily and reassuringly before settling back against the sofa cushions.

"I do not think I acted any differently around him," she mused.

In truth, she'd never really thought about their courtship. There hadn't been any time. It had all happened so fast and by the time she'd come to terms with her feelings, and her pregnancy, Kanaan had disappeared along with her people. She hadn't had the luxury of romance or fantasies.

"Although, you would have to ask Kanaan to be absolutely sure." At Rodney's strangled response, she patted his knee and grinned before continuing, "But I did notice things. I think, I noticed him more – how he moved and how he acted, what he would say and how he would say it."

"Because it annoyed you or…"

Teyla frowned and shook her head. "No, of course not." She paused for a moment and rethought that statement. "That is not entirely true. I noticed those aspects of his character, yes, but I did not mind them as much. I began to see him as so much more, and when I thought of all the good he was capable of, the bad did not seem as important a focus."

"On a scale of one to ten, how unimportant a focus would you say?"

Teyla angled her head in question. "Rodney? I do not mind your curiousity, but is there a reason for these questions?"

Eyes widening a fraction, Rodney attempted to maintain an expression of purely friendly interest. "Reason? No. No reason. We're professional colleagues, I know, but we're friends too, right? Friends show interest in their friends' lives, right?"

Smiling, Teyla inclined her head in silent agreement. "Of course." She leaned forward to cover his hands with one of her own. "And from one friend to another, may I give you some good advice a friend once gave me?"

At Rodney's hesitant nod, Teyla spoke softly, "Talk to her. Tell her how you feel."

"Her? Who her? I never mentioned a 'her'? Whatever gave you the impression that there might be a 'her' involved?"

Unable to remain still or seated any longer, Rodney shot up from the couch and paced the floor in front of Teyla. "Why can't this simply be a matter of harmless curiousity? Is it because I've never shown interest before? Is that it? Because while that may seem odd now, maybe I've changed."

Teyla quirked an eyebrow back at him.

Rodney stopped, placing both hands behind his back. "Why is that so unbelievable?" he asked, indignant at the implication.

Sighing, Teyla stood and placed her hands firmly on Rodney's tense shoulders, forcing him to face her. "Friends are also honest with each other, Rodney."

She felt him slowly deflate under her hands; his shoulders drooped and all the latent energy drained from his muscles. He fell back, rather than sat, onto the sofa. Leaning forward, he buried his face in his hands.

"Waf Idon noh ow?" Came the muffled response.

Settling herself once more beside Rodney, Teyla stared at the side of his head in puzzlement. "Rodney?"

Slowly lifting his head to rest his chin on his hands, he spoke more clearly, "What if I don't know how? Not the 'be honest' part," he clarified. "Although that comes replete with its own set of problems. I'm referring to the 'talking to her' part."

He turned his head to gaze with sad eyes at the Athosian woman. "You know I'm not exactly good with people. Well, I'm even worse with people of the opposite sex than I am with people in general. 'Talking to her' is only the best plan if I'm intent on alienating her for life. Which," he clarified. "Is not exactly what I had in mind."

"You underestimate yourself, Rodney."

"Oh really?" Rodney squinted his eyes slightly and glared back at Teyla. "Need I remind you what happened with Katie? The details are not pretty."

Teyla winced inwardly before placing a comforting hand on Rodney's shoulder. "But you were engaged in a relationship with her for some time."

"That only happened because Cadman was in possession of my body during our first date." Rodney sighed heavily and let his head fall back down. "Let's face it. I'm hopeless."

"No," Teyla snapped. She caught Rodney's chin in her hand and forced his head up, forced him to look her in the eye.

"No?" He echoed, confused and more than a little scared by the fiery sparks in Teyla deep brown eyes. He knew the Athosian woman could be fierce and had been kind of hoping to avoid that particular personality trait during this conversation.

"Where is the obscenely arrogant Dr. Rodney McKay I have grown to know these past five years?"

"I wouldn't say obsecen…" Teyla tightening her firm grip on his chin cut off that sentence before he could finish. "Ow," he protested meekly.

"The one who had a solution for everything, or at the very least, an answer?"

"Hey!"

Her grip on his chin softened and she moved both hands to his shoulders once more, lifting him from his slouched position to sit upright. Her eyes softened towards him as she spoke, "It does not matter what you say, Rodney. It does not even matter how you say it. All that will matter to her, if she knows you at all, is that you made the effort to say it at all."

Eyes wide, as if he were attempting to soak up all the wisdom she was prepared to give him through his pupils, Rodney sat, stunned into silence.

"Now," Teyla continued more gently than before as she proceeded to guide him up off the couch and towards the door to her quarters. "I believe you have somewhere else you need to be."

"Wait." Rodney dug his heels into the carpeting and turned back to face the small woman gently urging him on from behind. He looked down at her, a plea in his bright, blue eyes. "What if she doesn't feel the same way? How can I tell? Is there, like, a thing you females do with your hands or…or…something that I should know about? Some secret signal?"

Teyla sighed and patted him on the arm once more. "She feels the same way, Rodney. I am sure of it."

"Really?" Hope sprang back into those impossibly blue eyes and Teyla nearly laughed at the child-like expression on his face. "Like really the same way or only a little bit the same way. On a scale of one to ten, how sure would you say you are?"

Laughing now, Teyla spun him around and led him to the door.

"I am really, really sure she feels the same way," she declared before opening the door.

"Oh. Well then. That's something right?"

Still chuckling, Teyla watched as the physicist made his way out the door with a slight spring in his step. Shaking her head at his antics, she began to make her way to where Torren now lay sleeping in his playpen.

"Teyla?"

Teyla spun around at the sound of her name and found that same physicist framed in her doorway. She raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Are we talking about the same 'she'?

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Read and review please. One more chapter to go...


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